Just Plain Bill

Are you fascinated by certain numbers?

For some reason, the number “11” has a special significance to me. Why, you may ask?

My last four residences over the past 16 years, both in California and Illinois, have totaled the number “11”. In fact, our recent “right-sizing” move to a 17^th floor apartment has an apartment number and street address also totaling “11”.

Although “11” seems to have a special significance, “13” is actually my favorite number, due to the fact that my mother was born on April 13^th – and on a Friday at that!

I know just a little about the so-called science of numerology. I’ve had great fun with the book You Are Your First Name, by Ellin Dodge. The book contains thousands of personal names with comments on one’s Major Talent, Personality Ingredients, and Personality Extreme – all based on the subject of numerology where each letter in the name is given a numerical value. 

Science? Fact? Questionable belief? Hocus-pocus?

What do you think?

Just Plain Bill

Who would have thought?

Have you ever had an experience that was incredible for you but you knew it would not mean much to anyone else?

Well, a conversation came up the other day while I was attending an annual meeting of the “Knights of Olde”.  The “Knights” are a group of 100-plus guys from my high school that had been involved in sports. It includes graduates from 1945 up to 1963 – the year our old school, Castlemont High School in Oakland, was torn down due to not meeting the earthquake standards for schools in California.

From an early age, I was a sports nut, although one without much athletic ability until excelling in wrestling after military service. I managed the football team (water boy), the wrestling team (wash the mats and hand out the gear), and the baseball team (batboy).

In my junior year, I went out for quarterback on the JV football team. Due to the kindness of the coach, I “made” the team as a 3^rd string, five foot, six inch, 125-pound QB. I loved the practices and logged well over four minutes of playing time over the span of five or six games…usually when the game was either already lost or we were so far ahead there wasn’t much I could have done to affect the outcome.

While my playing experience wouldn’t mean much to anyone else but me, I was blown away when another Knight –  a student who was one grade behind me – came up to me and asked, “Didn’t you play quarterback on the JVs?” Here it was, nearly 60 years later, and he recalled my brief and inconsequential football experience. Unbelievable that he had remembered…

I replied, “Yes, that’s true - and thanks for remembering.” In addition to being appreciative someone remembered an experience I didn’t think anyone but me would recall, I learned that we never can tell when something we do will be memorable for someone else. 

Just Plain Bill

“Youthanizing Winnie”

Is it possible to reverse, or at least slow the aging process?

I can say without any reservation that yes it is, and I probably wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t see it with my own eyes.

My wife and I brought my then 92-year old mother, Winifred (or Winnie as her friends called her) into our home after she had been living in a convalescent hospital for about eight years. Winnie’s mind was sharp, but her physical condition was somewhat compromised, having suffered congenital heart failure in her late 80s. Her mobility was limited and her use of a walker was iffy at best. Her hair had been thinning, her skin becoming porcelain-like, and she bruised quite easily.

After bringing her home, Winnie adjusted to her new home quite quickly. We hired a caregiver by the name of Manna for her. Manna spent weekdays caring for her basic needs and my wife and I took care of Winnie at nighttime and on weekends. Almost immediately after moving in, we noticed her hair was healthier and her skin tone was improving.

With bars on the walls in her room and the path to her bathroom, Winnie gradually learned to navigate her way to the bathroom all on her own. We watched her get stronger with each passing day. She was soon showing increased interest in our daily schedules and making requests for items she observed on her TV. One such request? A “Silver Bullet”! Yes indeed – a small can of Coors Light beer on an especially warm day!

My mom’s doctors were amazed at the ongoing reversal of the several maladies that anyone her age normally experienced. Some of her medications even had their dosage reduced. Doctor office visits became less frequent.

How could this be?

Just Plain Bill

My Time in Prison

After a competitive athletic event, what do you talk about with your opponent, who happens to be a prison inmate, especially after you’ve defeated him?

When I was a sophomore in college, I was a member of the school’s wrestling team. After our first match against military personnel stationed at a local naval base, we were given the rest of our schedule for the season. For the month of December, we saw two matches on the schedule against San Quentin Federal Penitentiary, just north of San Francisco.

I was taken aback. My teammates and I had a few questions about how that was going to work.  We learned that a former member of our wrestling team was the activity director at San Quentin and as part of his job, scheduled athletic events against local universities and athletic clubs.

While preparing for the visit to the prison for the wrestling match, we were instructed to not wear blue jeans, hats, or jewelry, but to wear a white dress shirt and tie.

When we arrived, we were checked in through the guard station, had our athletic bags inspected, and were then escorted to the athletic area. We changed into our uniforms and followed that with our usual warm-up routine. Our team entered the wrestling room, sat in chairs across from our competitors, and waited for the match to begin.

Being one of the lightweights, my match was the first. I admit I was a little more nervous than usual, but once the match began (and I got slapped on the side of the head and shoved around a little), it didn’t make much difference who my competitor was. The match proceeded like any other match until I won it with a pin in the third period. 

Following the match, we visited with a few of the inmates who came forward to chat. We engaged in some Q&A and then wished them luck prior to our departure. It was hard to know what to talk about. We would be leaving after the match but none of our competitors would. The inmate I wrestled, Marvin, volunteered what he was in for, and how much longer he would be incarcerated: he had committed two murders and said he’d probably spend the rest of his life in San Quentin. Hearing that news left me with an empty feeling in my stomach. I could say little except that I hoped to see him next year when we returned.

We had matches at San Quentin for the next two years as well and the memories have stayed with me. I did see and wrestle Marvin’s colleagues two more times. I’ve been blessed with a gift of gab I suppose, but I count these events in the handful of times in my life when words have escaped me. I believe that in spite of my loss for words Marvin appreciated having a connection with someone through our common interest in sports.  He also may have benefited from knowing someone spent some time remembering who he was. 

Just Plain Bill

“Bossy is better.” Give me a break!

It’s taken far too long for me to respond to an article written by Stephen Sauer in the Harvard Business Review: “Why Bossy is Better for Rookie Managers”, but, “better late than never” as the saying goes, as respond I must.

I’ve spent well over three decades working both in management development and serving as a manager in organizations of different sizes. From both research and experience, I’ve learned a lot about the various theories of management and practices that are designed to enhance the “getting things done through others” process. In all my research and experience, I have not encountered any theory or practice that encourages any manager – new or not new, rookie or veteran – to be anything other than authentic.  

The conclusion that a manager might modify his communication style to be more or less “bossy” with his subordinates strongly suggests that a new manager should be manipulative. This is contrary to establishing a straightforward, truthful coaching relationship with the team. A genuinely helpful relationship is fostered on communication with honest feedback from coaching questions like “How do you think you are doing/did/didn’t do” etc.

The first study the author refers to involves video-based observations by business school students. It ignores the intangible and critical dimension of an effective manager: the relationship between the manager and those managed. This crucial element does not transfer well to a two-dimensional video simulation.  

The cited second experiment, while attempting to establish different high- and low-status roles, includes participants who had no investment in successful performance.

The author’s comment concerning whether the results “seem counterintuitive” suggests that the findings are just that: not based on quality research and experience – or common sense!

Finally, the article uses the term manager and leader interchangeably. While similar, they are not at the same. More on this topic in a future blog.