justplainbil

Just Plain Bill

75 Reasons Why You Should Not Hire

a 75-year Old Accomplished Professional

In 1975, Paul Simon penned a song titled “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” With tongue firmly planted in cheek and a tip of the hat to Rhymin’ Simon, there must be 75 reasons why you should not hire a 75-year old accomplished professional who has a long track record of adding significant value to organizations of all sizes and who will share your high energy, entrepreneurial spirit, and commitment to success!

1.   I’ll probably need time in the afternoon to take a nap.

2.   The food service menu will have to expand its selection of mashed foods and soups.

3.   Vending machines will need to offer Preparation H®, Depends, and hearing aid batteries.

4.   Office chairs will need to have extra cushy tushy layers and footstools added.

5.   Black socks with sandals will redefine casual Fridays.

6.   You’ll need to install safety bars in my cubicle.

7.   Computer monitors will need magnifiers to size 48 fonts.

8.   Emergency first aid kits will need to include denture adhesive and Pepto Bismol®.

9.   Lighting will need to be increased in the workspace, but all windows to the outside will need shadier coverings to prevent glare and to protect my sensitive skin.

10.                 I’ll need to take a personal day for The Antique Road Show marathon.

11.                Unless you appreciate bed socks, you won’t want me drawing your name for the Secret Santa gift exchange.

12.                My favorite theme for office decorating contests? A History of Industrial Revolution Titans.

13.                All stairs will have to have an elevator option between floors.

14.                 I’ll need an assistant just to help me find my glasses and all the other things I’ve put in the wrong place, and…oh, I forgot what else, but I’ll tie a string around my finger to remember.

15.                 My back will probably go out more than I do.

16.                Since my ears never stop growing, I’ll need a bigger set of headphones each year.

17.                You can rest assured we won’t exceed 50 mph in the car pool fast lane when it’s my turn to drive.

18.                For a potluck, I make a great corn beef and cabbage that’s known for its fragrance.

19.                Some reports will be prepared in cursive writing just to keep the art alive – but translation included!

20.                 When it rains, my joints will creak more than the office chairs.

21.                 I’ll have to learn how to “ready, fire, aim”, which will be a challenge for me.

22.                 I will have a better parking place than the Boss because of my handicap tag (surely just living past the age of 75 could be classified as a handicap by Millennials!)

23.                 I will have time management issues caused by those demanding on the spot training to learn my system for fastening my belt quite high on my waistline. After all, one can’t be too careful about cuffs (remember them?) that might drag and get stepped on.

24.                 “When I was your age…” will frequently start a reflection, comment or opinion.

25.                 For some reason, folks assume that because someone is old that they know it all – let me show you I do. 

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Was I napping?

This 75-year old author will now exercise his right to fast forward (love that modern term) - a right earned by my contributions to thousands of individuals and numerous organizations. Let’s jump from reason #25 to reason #75, reward for a career’s wealth of unrecognized acts of kindness 50 times over.

75.                The leadership of your organization will capitalize on wisdom that only age can bring, by consulting with this septuagenarian geezer who will bring an unrivaled work ethic and expertise in the art of collaboration to help all achieve their goals.

And it helps to still be a little crazy after all these years – which is an asset to all organizations. Yours included!

I continue to encourage others to do their “art.” As the noted marketer, author and business blogger Seth Godin says, “Your art is what you do when no one can tell you exactly how to do it. Your art is the act of taking personal responsibility, challenging the status quo, and changing people.” (Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?)

Show me your art and I’ll show you mine!