justplainbil

Just Plain Bill

I’m a Junkie, embarrassed to admit!

No pills, no needle marks, no physical markings to reveal any sign of my habit. No slurring of speech, halting gait, tics, radical mood swings, craving of munchies, or dozing off.  To most people, even those who have known me all of my life, I probably appear to be normal, at least as normal as any other senior citizen in this day and age might be.

My habit affects the way I spend my time, the choices I make concerning focus – or lack thereof. Once I’m “tuned in”, it’s extremely difficult to do anything else. I am good at rationalizing that my habit is nothing more than an innocent action.

Excuse me for a minute – I need a fix!

There are no obvious physical signs when I miss my fix, but mentally or emotionally, there’s a slight increase in my irritability level, and perhaps an imperceptible heightening of my pulse rate.

I’m not sure if there’s any long term or lasting impact from my habit, or if my abilities to task or multi-task are affected.

And, what about treatment? I’m interested in a 12-step program, or perhaps another way to address the habit. Remove the temptations? Attend meetings with other junkies? Read enlightening resources? Register with a support counselor? What?

So what is my drug of choice? 

In spite of my being a member of the Veterans, Traditionalist, or Depression Generation – coming late in life to technology – I find myself fixated on the computer and all its opportunities for engagement.

Hardly an hour goes by without me checking my cell phone to see if “anything of interest” has occurred. Each day starts with me checking specific web sites:  Huffington Post, Daily Kos, CNN, or the San Francisco Chronicle, my local paper. That doesn’t seem to involve, or waste much time – or does it?

I often find myself wondering what I did about needing to be “in the know” prior to computers. More importantly, I also find myself wondering what I can do to either break, or better manage this compulsion.

Any suggestions?